2) Barakas

I'm 'onna drive my van
through the plateglass window
Of your heart

I'm 'onna drive my van
through the styrofoam-brick wall
Also of your heart

I'm 'onna wrap my chains
'Round the muscles and veins
Once again, of your heart

I'm 'onna put my fist
Through the side of the cranium
Of the side of your cranium

B.A.
B-A-R-A-K-A-S
B-A-B-Y
Don't settle fo' less than
B.A.
B-A-R-A-K-A-S
B.A. Barakas

Who is this apparition
With the feathers and chains?
Who bullies the dull life
And rapes the mundane?
Who's the subject of this white boy's modest refrains
Between a micro-tape recording and
"Look, Ma, No Brainz!"?

B.A.
B-A-R-A-K-A-S
Is just an
Educated guess
B.A.
B-A-R-A-K-A-S
B.A. BARAKAS

Guilty of vehicular assault they
Threw him in jail
Not even eighty pounds of necklace could
Cover the bail
So they sentenced him from
Now till the World's end
to convert to Islam
and be someone's girlfriend
But B.A. became the best Daddy on his cellblock
A black Adonis
Bringin' the shellshock
All the boys from cellblocks A through Z
Would let Barakas drive 'em like he drove that GMC
And all the thugs and the theives and
Even the Fonze
Were all putty in his mitts
And sheaths on his schwanz
Even the three-hundred-pound guys
The Meanest-Around-Guys
Confessed he was the best man at
Rammin' the round-eye
NOW B.A. DON'T WANT CASH
'N' B.A. DON'T SMOKE GRASS
B.A. DON'T WANT YO' PUSSY
HE'LL GO STRAIGHT F' YO' ASS
And if you listen real close, 'round a-quarter-tuh-Two
You'll hear the heavy-breathin', sugar-mouthed
White women coo,

"B.A.
B-A-R-A-K-A-S
B-A-B-Y
Oh, Fuck Yes!"
B.A.
B-A-R-A-K-A-S
B.A. BARAKAS.


The Children cheer
The Neighbors jeer
The Sugar-Mouthed White Women
Ice their Rears 'n'
The Mothers Sneer
The White Man's Fear settin'
Civil Rights back another
Fifteen Years, 'n' they blame

B.A.
B-A-R-A-K-A-S
Hulk Hogan scares us far less than
B.A.
B-A-R-A-K-A-S
B.A. BARAKAS

Look who's here to save your farm with
a watermelon on each arm and uh
B.A.
B-A-N-J-O, it's
TAP-DANCE BARAKAS


He'll defy your histrionics
And occasionally phonics, but
He's a Social Tonic rising
Up from the FRAKAS

He'll make that
H-U-L-K-
H-O-G-A-N
Look like a gay librarian he's
B.A.
B-A-R-A-K-A-S
¡BAD-ASS BARAKAS!


©2007, 2010 Andy Klosenski

Also appears on the album Johnny Got His Axe [RPM Challenge 2007]

[http://honkygabacho.bandcamp.com/album/johnny-got-his-axe]